And So It Begins...Again.

I had the chance to keep score tonight for a scrimmage roller derby bout between members of my prospective team, and man... I have to say I'm starting to get a little nervous about all this. Ironman scared the hell out of me until I got into the mix, and even then every step was just gambling until I crossed the finish line. But this is different -- people are fricking AFTER you out there, and not in the metaphorical way. One girl tonight got checked so hard she slid into the wall of the rink.

 Into. The. Wall. Of. The. Rink.

I'm not sure what to do with that. For as long as I can remember, I've either felt mentally "tough enough," or at the very least, I knew how to get myself there for whatever the crucible happened to be, but this isn't really like that. I mean, it is, but it's more than just being mentally tough -- it's being physically combative too, and the only thing keeping me out of the tree thus far is the realization that, like Brazilian jiu-jitsu, it's a strategy game. If you don't have a plan, you just need the reflexes to deal with the imminent consequences. It's been years since my jiu-jitsu training has been consistent enough to cultivate those kinds of plans and reflexes, though, so I don't know. Hopefully, it's all still in there somewhere.

I guess on the upside, any success I've ever achieved had has always scared the crap out of me in the beginning, so it's kind of encouraging to feel intimidated again.

How insane is that? Ha...